Stripped
by Kathy Rose
Summary: After being caught in a compromising situation by Trip, Hoshi and Malcolm seek revenge. Sequel to Stuck Tight.


A/N: Thank you to those who left reviews for the first three stories in this series. This story closes out the series.

* * *

The planet was more lush than any they had come across before. Tropical vegetation grew in profusion, and colorful birds flitted through the air. As far as their surveys could determine, the planet was devoid of humanoid life and had no apparent dangers for humans. Captain Archer had immediately ordered shore leave for the crew.

After their shuttlepod landed, Malcolm and Hoshi sneaked away from the group and headed to a secluded pool he'd discovered on the survey map. It was hot enough that, when they reached their destination, both were ready for a dip in the inviting water.

As soon as he had cooled off, however, Malcolm climbed out to perch on a boulder at the water's edge, enjoying the sun. The pool wasn't deep enough to aggravate his aquaphobia, but he was content to sit and watch Hoshi swim back and forth. When she finally did emerge, her black hair seal slick and water streaming down around the curves of her swimsuit, his breath caught in his throat.

"This place is better than Risa," she said as she climbed out.

"Better?" he asked.

Sitting down next to him, she said. "We get to be alone together, other than in my quarters or your quarters."

"There was that time last week in the armory," he said, reaching for her.

"Yes, but anybody could have--"

The rest of her answer was cut off by Malcolm giving her a passionate kiss.

They had brought along a picnic lunch prepared by Chef, but it was some time before they got around to it. And after they did eat, Hoshi and Malcolm wound up back in the water without their swimsuits. He easily caught her as she playfully tried to elude him.

"Again? Your appetite is insatiable," she teased, her own hunger showing in her eyes as they stood waist deep in the pool.

"If you're on the menu, I'll always want seconds," he said huskily.

With his arms around her waist and hers around his neck, they were engrossed in a heated kiss when Hoshi's acute hearing picked up a rustling in the undergrowth. Breaking the kiss, she looked in the direction of the sound and squealed, dropping down in the water to cover her nudity.

Trip stood at the edge of the pool, his camera dangling from one hand. "Hi! Enjoyin' yourselves?" he asked with a grin.

"He took a picture!" Hoshi cried in alarm.

Slogging through the water toward his friend, Malcolm said warningly, "Either hand over the camera or get rid of that picture."

Trip back-pedaled until he came up against some shrubbery. "OK, OK! I'll get rid of it. Didn't know ya'd be so sensitive." He held the camera so Malcolm could see what he was doing. Very deliberately he pressed a button. "There! Satisfied?"

"What are you doing here?" Malcolm asked as he clambered up the bank. He grabbed his trunks and stepped into them as he talked. "Weren't you with the doctor and some of the others?"

"Yeah, but I got bored. All Phlox wants to do is categorize the local fauna, what there is of it. We spent an hour chasin' some little six-legged critter that looks like a cross between a skunk and, well, I don't know what. At least it didn't smell like a skunk."

A splash interrupted their discussion. "Uh, guys?" Hoshi said. "I need some clothes."

Both men looked at her and saw only her head was above the water. Much as Malcolm would have liked her to stay just the way she was, he appreciated her predicament with another man watching. "Get moving, Trip," he said. "The lady needs some privacy."

"See ya back at the shuttle."

Malcolm kept an eye on Trip until he disappeared into the undergrowth. Then he turned back to the pool. "Come on out and I'll help you get dressed."

"Make me!"

* * *

Travis and several crew members were talking over dinner about their visits to the planet when Trip joined them at their table. "Hi, Commander," Travis said. "Did you have a good time on shore leave?"

Trip nodded as he cut his steak. "Pretty place, I have to admit. Not much to do. I did get some nice pictures, though," he said, pointing with his knife at the camera next to his plate.

"Anything to add to the scrapbook I'm making for my mom?"

Before Trip could say anything, the intercom beeped and he was paged. Excusing himself, he stood and went to the intercom by the door. When he returned, he looked regretfully at his barely touched steak and baked potato. "Something's come up in engineering, some kind of momentary power surge Hess doesn't know what to make of. You go ahead and download the pictures you want, Travis. I'll get the camera back later."

Travis picked up the camera and began cycling through the photographs as Trip left the mess hall. There were shots of flowering plants, some landscape views, some pictures of Phlox, and one of Hoshi and Malcolm next to the shuttlepod.

There was also a photo in the camera's trash folder that hadn't been erased and, out of curiosity, he opened it. "Oh my God!"

Seated next to Travis, Crewman Foster from security asked, "What is it?"

"Your boss and Hoshi in a really...candid picture. No wonder it's in the trash folder."

"Let me see." Foster grabbed the camera before Travis could stop him and took a long look. He passed the camera to Crewman Dillard, who stared wide-eyed at the picture. Ensign Hutchison leaned over to see as well.

As Travis grabbed the camera back, Foster said, "I thought the lieutenant seemed in a better mood the last few weeks. Now I know why."

"We weren't supposed to see that," Travis said, glaring at everyone at the table.

"Weren't supposed to see what?" Hoshi asked curiously as she sat down in the seat that Trip had vacated.

There was a sudden exodus of crew members from the table, leaving a startled Hoshi and an embarrassed Travis sitting by themselves.

"What was that about?" Hoshi asked.

Travis looked at her. He knew it would be worse to try to lie to her than to tell her the truth. Without a word he handed the camera to her.

* * *

"It's bad enough that he snuck up on us and took that picture. He was supposed to have gotten rid of it. Now Travis and three other crew members have seen it. Who knows who they'll tell about it!"

Hoshi had confiscated the camera after seeing the picture and gone to find Malcolm. He was coming out of the armory when she found him and, seeing her agitation, he had escorted her to his quarters where they could talk in private. Now he watched as she paced back and forth.

"Trip did delete the picture from the active file--he just didn't erase it," he said, trying to reason with her. "Technically, Travis is at fault for opening the trash file."

"I don't care! Trip shouldn't have taken that picture in the first place. At least Travis had the decency to tell me about it."

"I take it that means Travis will not be the subject of our retaliatory attack?"

Hoshi stopped her pacing to smile at him. "Now I remember why I fell in love with you."

"Why is that?"

"You're a man of action."

He chuckled as he drew her into his arms, relieved that she had stopped pacing. "You know, we'll have to be very careful about this. Trip is one of our superior officers."

"Shouldn't slow us down too much."

He laughed outright at that. "Now I remember one of the reasons why I love you."

"What's that?"

"Because once you make up your mind, nothing gets in your way."

* * *

Trip was a little bleary-eyed when he walked into engineering the next morning. All the fresh air on the planet, along with the frustrating search for the unexplained power surge, must have -- pardon the expression, he thought wryly -- tuckered him out.

Luckily there wasn't too much to do. Enterprise would be in orbit around the planet for the next two days and only minor maintenance had been scheduled to accommodate the crew's shore leave. Sometimes, he reflected, it's more important to take care of the human components of the ship than the ship itself.

He greeted Rostov and Dillard as he walked past the warp core on the way to his office. He'd check the engineering duty roster to refresh his memory about who was on shore leave, then he'd tackle the recalcitrant plasma coupling they had taken offline last week.

He sat down at his desk, yawning as he turned on the computer and keyed in his access code. He had just turned around to find a data padd on the shelf behind him when a horrendous noise almost made him jump out of his chair. Spinning back around, he saw the screen displaying a waving British flag, with the word "Gotcha!" flashing at him. But even more annoying was the noise -- an eardrum-bursting version of the cannon finale of the "1812 Overture."

Even if the flag hadn't given it away, Trip would have known Malcolm was responsible by the fact that the music was one of the few classical pieces to feature actual munitions. What he couldn't figure out as he tried frantically to shut off the music was why Malcolm had done this.

He finally succeeded in muting the sound and was searching for a way to cut the video when another message in small type popped up on the screen. Squinting, he made out the words, "You deleted the picture, but you didn't erase it."

"Oh, shit!" he muttered. Travis must have opened the trash file on the camera, he realized. Since the helmsman was one of Hoshi's best friends, he would naturally have told her about it.

Hoshi's prowess at practical jokes was well known on Enterprise and, since she'd become an item with the ship's tactical officer, she now had a more than willing accomplice. He ought to know -- he had helped them pull a prank on Travis just a few weeks ago. At least the fanfare he'd been greeted with on his computer wasn't too bad, other than causing a ringing in his ears that he hoped would go away soon.

The simplest thing to do would be to swap out the drive on the desk computer. He could work on fixing whatever they had done to it later. He got up and went to the storage closet where he kept spare parts. Opening the door, he was inundated by a deluge of plastic packing bubbles that fell out and rolled across the floor.

"Damn it!" He was up to his ankles in the darn things. They had been crammed to the ceiling in the closet. Probably had to use the transporter to get them all in there, he realized as he stared at the packing bubbles in dismay. They were going to have to be picked up and taken back to storage in a cargo bay.

Two perpetrators, two pranks, he thought, gathering up some packing bubbles and tossing them in a handy box. At least that ought to be the end of it.

Rostov stuck his head in the door. "You OK, sir? I heard a lot of noise."

"Yeah. Just a little practical joke."

"I guess that explains the yellow stripe down the back of your uniform."

"What?!"

* * *

Hoshi and Malcolm were having lunch together when Trip entered the mess hall. After picking out a sandwich and chips, he came over to their table.

"May I join you two or will the chair collapse when I sit on it?" he asked sarcastically.

Hoshi smirked but Malcolm maintained a straight face. He made a show of thinking, then said, "No, I think we're done with you for today."

Trip gave a relieved sigh as he sat down -- carefully, just in case.

"Don't trust us?" Malcolm asked.

"After this mornin', I'm not sure who or what to trust any more."

"Rough morning, Commander?" Hoshi asked slyly.

Trip glared at her as he took a bite of his sandwich and began to chew.

"I think he's a little peeved with us," Malcolm told her.

Trip swallowed and spoke up indignantly. "It was an honest mistake. I meant to get rid of that picture. Don't ya think y'all went a little overboard? The packin' bubbles, the stripe down my uniform, that damn cannon fusilade no matter which computer panel I accessed in engineering?"

Neither Hoshi nor Malcolm answered but they wore identical smiles of satisfaction as Trip continued his diatribe between bites. "Had to requisition a new chair 'cause the old one had yellow dye soaked into it. Took my staff half an hour to pick up the packin' bubbles. Took me half the morning to get rid of that damned music. Did it come on when anybody else accessed the computer? No, just me!"

"We'll leave you to your lunch, Trip," Malcolm said as he stood up. "Just remember to be more careful about what you take pictures of in the future."

Once in the corridor, Malcolm turned to Hoshi. "That went well."

"Nothing like a false sense of security to put someone off guard," she agreed.

* * *

Watching from the engineering station on the bridge two days later, Trip was happy to see the planet grow smaller on the viewscreen. Although he was fairly certain Malcolm and Hoshi were finished with their revenge, leaving the planet seemed like definite closure to the whole affair. The entire time they'd been in orbit he had been waiting for another trick from the prank masters, as he was coming to think of them. Shortly after Enterprise was underway, the captain called a quick briefing in the situation room. "We've got a stop to make." he told the assembled officers. "Apparently word of our presence in this sector has gotten around, and we've been invited to a party."

One of T'Pol's eyebrows practically climbed under her hairline. "The Nimirans have asked to open diplomatic relations with Earth. Nothing was said about a 'party.'"

"There's going to be an opening ceremony when we arrive, followed by dinner and entertainment. If that's not a party, I don't know what is," Jon countered, causing T'Pol to raise her other eyebrow.

Trip chuckled and said, "Finally. Somebody out here who knows somethin' about hospitality."

He missed the glance Hoshi exchanged with Malcolm as the others continued to talk about the upcoming contact. There was a calculating glint in the armory officer's eyes, matched by one of anticipation in hers.

* * *

"You understand I have to make sure that everything is safe for the landing party before we attempt this?"

Malcolm was seated at the computer in his cabin, looking at a schematic. Standing behind him, Hoshi gave his shoulders an affectionate squeeze as she replied, "Of course. I wouldn't expect anything less from you. We don't want anyone to get hurt -- just embarrassed to within an inch of his life."

Malcolm reached up to pat one of her hands. "I didn't realize you had such a bloodthirsty streak," he said as he made some notes on a padd.

"Does it make any difference?"

"Yes. If I had known you were so inclined to go for the jugular, I would have figured out a way to start our relationship a lot sooner."

She gave him a playful swat, then sobered. "We'll have to let the Nimirans know about this, too. They're not the ones we want to embarrass. If we can get them to go along, we shouldn't have too much difficulty pulling it off."

"Let's hope they have a sense of humor."

"I'm pretty sure they do. They sent us some material about their culture. I've been translating it all afternoon. Comedy plays a big part in their entertainment."

Malcolm nodded. "That could work to our advantage, but we need to get someone from the crew to help us."

"Travis," she suggested smugly. "He owes us. We didn't do a thing to him even though he was the one to discover the picture."

"Good choice. If he doesn't like helping us, you can always threaten him with payback." Malcolm frowned as he thought of something else. "I still can't decide if we should tell the captain. He's not a very good actor, you know. He might give away what we're doing."

"Shouldn't we get his permission?"

"To pull a prank? He can't sanction that type of thing. What bothers me is that it involves Starfleet property and if he doesn't know what's going on, he might be as embarrassed as Trip or, even worse, angry. The diplomatic situation could be jeopardized if he thinks the Nimirans are responsible."

* * *

The Nimirans had requested that the senior officers be at the opening ceremony, as well as any other crew members who could attend. It took both shuttlepods, with Travis piloting one and Trip the other, to transport the entire group. T'Pol had volunteered to stay behind during their absence. Hoshi was willing to bet it was because she, too, had found out how big a part humor played in Nimiran culture and didn't care to participate.

They landed in a cleared area near the reception hall. Tall trees surrounded the site, and a paved path led from the landing area to the hall. Waiting at the head of the path was a group of Nimirans.

"OK, everyone, best behavior. We're about to make a historic contact," Jon said to the group in his shuttlepod as the door was opened. He gestured for Hoshi to wait as the others got out. "You're sure about us contributing to the entertainment?"

"Yes, sir. The Nimirans view it as a cultural exchange, but it has to be a surprise. You didn't tell anyone, did you?"

"No, but I have to admit I'm curious as to what you have planned."

"That's part of the allure for them, sir -- knowing something is going to happen but not what. Just remember, no matter what happens, it's part of the entertainment."

"Different people, different customs, I suppose."

"Yes, sir," she said, following him out of the shuttlepod.

The Nimirans led them into the hall, where speeches were made by some of the planet's officials. The universal translator was working well, so Hoshi had little to do other than listen and observe her surroundings. Malcolm, she saw, had taken up a position to the side of their group, watching everything that was going on. The captain was politely listening to their hosts, as was Trip, although she could sense the chief engineer's impatience to get past the preliminaries and on with the party.

The Nimirans themselves were an interesting-looking people. Humanoid, but thin and spindly like the trees at the landing site. Their skin had a vaguely greenish cast that complemented their golden hair, and their facial features, while not dissimilar from humans, made them look like surprised cats. Unswept eyebrows and the barest suggestion of eyelids combined with a spattering of what she assumed were freckles around their slightly flared noses caused them to resemble wide-eyed felines. No fangs, she thought with amusement when she saw some of them smile.

The captain got up to thank the Nimirans for their welcome and expressed his hope that they could establish good relations. Apparently the word "relations" had several meanings in the Nimiran language, just as it did in English, and quite a few of the Nimirans chuckled when the captain's turn of phrase in their language indicated he wanted to have relations. They seemed to understand unintentional double entendres and didn't appear to be offended.

Once again, Hoshi found herself thankful that their hosts had a sense of humor. From her communications with them while Enterprise was enroute, she knew they understood slapstick and were particularly delighted by any presentation that featured a comedy-of-errors scenario. Best of all, they had expressed their eagerness to learn more about the type of humor called a practical joke.

The preliminaries taken care of, the humans were escorted to another, larger room. Round banquet tables were set with sparkling dinnerware and displays of multi-colored flowers. The senior officers were shown to a table of prominence near a stage. The other crew members were encouraged to mix among the Nimirans at the other tables.

Hoshi was seated between two Nimirans and was able to converse with them in their language. About halfway through the meal, she glanced across the table at Malcolm and he gave her a brief nod. He was ready to set the next part of their plan in operation.

"Excuse me, sir," Malcolm said to Jon. "My allergies seem to be having a field day. I need to go back to the shuttlepod to get some medication Doctor Phlox gave me in case this happened."

Hoshi watched as Malcolm left the banquet hall, glad they'd thought to inform Phlox of their plan so that he would go along with the ruse. She turned and looked pointedly at Travis several seats to her right. Travis whispered something to the Nimiran minister of culture, who was seated next to him, and they both rose.

"Travis? Something wrong?" Jon asked.

"No, sir. Just need to use the restroom. Regran said he'd show me where it is."

The captain was so caught up in a conversation with the Nimiran president that he didn't notice Travis and his companion going the same way Malcolm had gone. Trip didn't pay any attention to the departure of his comrades, either. He was seated next to the Nimiran who was in charge of the planetary power grid, and they were comparing the merits of various energy sources.

There were two more courses before an elaborate dessert that tasted somewhat of chocolate marked the end of the banquet. The sweet concoction was reason enough to have made the trip down to the planet, Hoshi thought blissfully, licking her lips.

She caught Malcolm, who had come back with Travis and Regran just as dessert was being served, staring in fascination at her. Slowly she ran her tongue over her top lip again, causing him to blush. Chocolate and teasing Malcolm -- that's almost better than... Well, she'd follow up on that when they got back to Enterprise.

She watched as Malcolm recovered his composure. He glanced at Trip, then gave her a significant nod.

A low chiming sound filled the room. The Nimirans all turned to look at the stage lit with spotlights. The minister of culture, Travis' new friend Regran, climbed the stairs to the stage and addressed the assembly.

"Tonight, we have the pleasure of making the acquaintance of new friends from among the stars," he began, and applause greeted his statement. "To honor their arrival, we have arranged some of our finest entertainment. We hope they share our delight and laughter, as we hope to share theirs."

The house lights dimmed, and Nimirans and humans settled back to enjoy the program. First out were dancers in outfits trimmed with yellow feathers, looking like the "cat who ate the canary" adage come to life -- the feline-looking Nimiran dancers even had some feathers pasted next to their mouths. What was in that dessert? Hoshi wondered as she tried to suppress a snicker. She was feeling positively giddy, more so than she usually did when one of her pranks was about to be implemented. Maybe it was because she had Malcolm to help her.

As the dancers left the stage, Jon caught Hoshi's eye. "What about our contribution?"

"Sssh," she hissed. "It's a surprise, remember?"

A musical presentation was next, followed by a comedic skit and the Nimiran version of a stand-up comic. Then all the spotlights but one went out. A chair was placed in the spotlight, and out walked Crewman Cunningham carrying a guitar. Jon flashed Hoshi a pleased look. The crewman who worked in the galley was an accomplished guitarist.

Cunningham settled onto the chair and strummed the guitar once. He launched into a traditional instrumental rendition of "Greensleeves." When he finished, a spattering of polite applause rippled through the hall, and Hoshi smiled at Malcolm as he took the opportunity to move his chair next to her.

After making some adjustments to the guitar, Cunningham resettled himself on the chair and began "I Don't Like Spiders and Snakes," singing along to the song. This time the response was enthusiastic. Hoshi was glad she had warned him that the Nimirans would like the humorous piece much more than the sedate "Greensleeves."

Cunningham stood and bowed to the applause, and when the Nimirans banged their fists on the tables -- their way of calling for an encore -- he sat down again and sang "Escape--The Pina Colada Song" as he played the guitar. The Nimirans were enthralled by the story of a couple seeking more excitement with new partners only to find they matched each other's unknown desires.

"There's no accounting for taste," Malcolm said as the Nimirans went wild at the end of Cunningham's last song.

"I think they're perfect," she said, "especially for what's coming next."

As the applause died down, Regran approached the planet's president and whispered in his ear. A look of concern crossed the president's face until Hoshi caught his eye. Understanding dawned, and she could see him trying not to smile.

The president stood and, when he had everyone's attention, said, "That rousing performance was the end of our entertainment for the evening. We hope our visitors have enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed their contribution."

Jon assured him they had, and the smiling faces of the Enterprise crew backed him up. Trip had the biggest grin of all, Hoshi noticed, but she knew that was going to change.

It was a tired but happy group that made its way back to the landing site. The Nimiran president linked arms with the captain, and both chuckled about Cunningham's last song. Cunningham himself was at the center of a knot of Nimirans who wanted to know more about the guitar. Trip was trying to explain to his Nimiran escort what a harmonica was.

Hoshi made sure she was right behind the captain as they approached the landing site, with Malcolm next to her. As they came around a curve in the path, Hoshi heard Jon stop talking in mid-sentence. The Nimiran president unlinked his arm from the captain and followed Jon's gaze to the landing site.

Hoshi moved up beside the captain. She could see Jon taking in the site where, instead of two shuttlepods, there now was only one. Where the other had been, there were only bits and pieces strewn about haphazardly. Jon's mouth dropped open, closed as he swallowed, and then dropped open again.

"What's the holdup?" came Trip's voice from the back of the entourage.

As Trip made his way to the front, Hoshi elbowed Jon in the ribs to get his attention. When he looked at her, she whispered, "Part of the entertainment. Play along. Please, sir?" She would find out now whether the captain was as bad an actor as Malcolm thought he was.

Trip pushed through the humans and Nimirans staring at the remains of Shuttlepod Two. "What the..." Bending over, he picked up a small piece of metal, an access panel cover. "What happened to our shuttlepod?"

Jon cleared his throat theatrically and said stiltedly, "That's what I'd like to know!"

Hoshi threw a desperate glance at Malcolm, who stepped in front of the captain, cutting off Trip's view of Jon's face. "Obvious, isn't it? The shuttlepod's been torn down and hauled away in pieces."

Hoshi put in, "Wasn't that the shuttlepod you piloted, Commander?"

"Yeah, but--"

"Did you lock it before we left?" Malcolm asked pointedly.

"I thought I did--"

"Did you read the information packet Hoshi put together about Nimiria before we came down?" Not giving Trip time to answer, Malcolm continued, "I don't think you did. Otherwise you'd know that in this culture, leaving a vehicle unlocked is an open invitation to take it."

"But I could have sworn I locked it. And they didn't take it!" Trip exploded, incredulity finally giving way to anger. "They took it apart, stripped it down to the chassis. And damn if they didn't take that, too!"

The Nimiran president spoke up. "I am sorry. This is a bad impression to give you, our new friends. But it is the way we do things here. Locking vehicles implies ownership. If it is not secured, that means anyone is free to do with it as they wish."

Hoshi was impressed. The president had been informed of their prank and was obviously relishing his role.

"I can understand that," Jon said to the president. At Trip's look of outrage, Jon said, "Now, Trip. It's a different culture and they do things differently here. We can't judge them by this incident."

"Captain! They took our shuttlepod!"

"No, Trip. You lost our shuttlepod."

"What?!"

Jon turned away before a smile broke out on his face. Taking a couple of deep breaths, he managed to put on a straight face before he said, "We'll have to go back to Enterprise in shifts. Trip, you and Malcolm stay here and talk to the Nimirans. Find out if there's a way to recover the parts. We'll send some of the crewmen up in the first trip, then Shuttlepod One will come back for you and the rest."

Hoshi watched as Trip's face fell during the captain's speech. Jon had done better than she had expected, but she didn't know how long he could keep up the pretense.

Travis led the way to Shuttlepod One, crewmen trailing him. Hoshi sidled over to Jon and whispered, "Go back now, sir."

Jon looked at her in puzzlement.

"Please, sir! You're going to give it away."

A small smile curved his lips. He took one last look at his befuddled chief engineer, who was picking up what appeared to be a power housing, before he turned and strode to the waiting shuttlepod.

Malcolm made a show of talking to the Nimirans while Trip continued to walk around the landing site, picking up as many pieces as he could. When he couldn't hold any more, he approached the Nimirans and the remaining Enterprise personnel.

"Do ya all think you could give me some help here?" he asked.

As several of the Nimirans, Hoshi, and Doctor Phlox moved to gather up the pieces, Malcolm pointed to a device hanging in one of the trees at the edge of the landing site. "The Nimirans do have surveillance here," he told Trip. "They said that tomorrow we could have a copy of the recording. That may lead us to whoever took the shuttlepod apart."

"Well, that's somethin', I guess," Trip said, then sighed. "Did ya see how the captain turned his back on me? At first I thought he was laughin', but then I realized he was really angry. I am in so much trouble."

Malcolm let a smirk appear on his face. "I can imagine. The first member of Starfleet to lose an entire shuttlepod."

"Hey, not the whole thing!" Trip said, shaking an armrest from one of the pod's seats at him.

When Travis returned with the shuttlepod, they loaded as many of the pieces as they could and still have room for passengers. Trip fell silent almost as soon as they boarded, and slumped in one of the seats behind Travis.

The others -- Hoshi, Malcolm, Doctor Phlox, and three other crewmen -- didn't talk much. They could see the chief engineer's despondent state. At one point, Hoshi caught Malcolm's eye and patted her pocket where she was carrying a data chip. In return, he gave her a grin that could only be described as wicked.

"Enterprise, this is Shuttlepod One requesting permission to dock in the launch bay," Travis said as they neared the ship.

T'Pol's voice came over the speaker. "Shuttlepod One, docking arm is deployed and you are cleared to come aboard. I have been informed there is...plenty of room."

Hoshi saw Trip wince. Plenty of room! Had the captain put T'Pol up to saying that? Hoshi was almost beginning to feel sorry for Trip. This was one hellacious practical joke they had pulled on him. Ah, well. It would all be over soon.

The shuttle rocked once as the docking arm clamped on and pulled them into the bay. As soon as the sound of the bay repressurizing was heard, those aboard the shuttlepod began to stand up and move around -- except for Trip.

"Commander," Hoshi said. "Are you all right?"

"No, I'm not all right," he answered. "I think I'll just sit here until everybody leaves and the lights are turned out, then slink to my quarters. That is, if they allow officers busted back to crewman to keep their own quarters."

"Now, Trip," Malcolm cut in. "It's not that bad."

"You aren't the one who lost a shuttlepod."

As the door to the shuttlepod opened, Hoshi gently took Trip by one arm and Malcolm took his other. Helping him to his feet, Hoshi said, "You'll feel better once you get out of here."

"Yeah, right," Trip said, allowing himself to be led to the door. Hoshi stepped out first and Malcolm followed. They both stood to one side, waiting as Trip emerged.

Trip stopped in mid-step, one foot in the shuttlepod and one out, as his mind registered what he saw across the bay. There sat Shuttlepod Two -- all in one piece. "What the hell?"

Hoshi and Malcolm's laughter brought comprehension, and Trip turned to them, relief warring with outrage on his face.

"You did this?" he finally managed to splutter.

Hoshi could only nod. She was laughing so hard at the expression on his face that she was afraid tears would run down her cheeks.

"How?" Trip asked.

"Travis and I flew the shuttlepods back to Enterprise during the meal," Malcolm said. "Then we flew back together in Shuttlepod One, along with a large supply of spare parts."

"You better have kept a good record of all those parts, 'cause if even one of them turns up missing..."

* * *

"Ummmm. That was good," Hoshi purred as she finished the chocolate dessert she had brought back from Nimiria.

"Not as good as something else," Malcolm said, leaning over to lick off a dab of dessert that had fallen on her chin.

"Can we watch the Nimiran data chip one more time?"

He leaned back against the bulkhead to look at her. They were in her quarters, sitting side by side on her bed. The computer screen was turned so they could see it from where they were.

"You've already seen it four times," he said.

"I know. But it's so funny. When the captain told him that he'd lost the shuttlepod..." She started laughing again.

"You know, to be fair, we should erase it," he said.

"We will. Eventually. But first I have to download it to a padd and leave it in the mess hall where someone will come along and see it."

He snickered. "You are just too sneaky for words."

"I love you, too," she said with a grin, then licked her upper lip like she had at the banquet.

This time, however, he did something else instead of blushing.


End file.
